10 sure-fire ways to disengage and be left alone

Don't bother me

Image from thelittlelion-girl.tumblr.com

If you’re like me, there are times when you just want to be left alone. No phone calls, no emails, no tweets, no text messages, no interruptions or meetings. No one imposing on your time, asking you for favors, soliciting your opinion, seeking your approval or begging you for money.

Just quiet time…to write, reflect or recharge.

If this is you, and you don’t want to be bothered anymore, here are some patented, sure-fire ways to shut out the world:

1. Don’t show up. If 90 percent of life is just showing up, then don’t. Don’t go to parties, weddings, funerals, concerts, lunches, dinners or even happy hour. Don’t go anywhere, or be there for anyone. Pretty soon no one will invite you to anything.

2. Stop networking. It’s a waste of time, right? Stop going to professional meetings, networking social events, industry conferences, workshops and seminars. Who needs that?

3. Stop volunteering. Sure, it’s nice to give back to the community, but isn’t altruism overrated? Can’t those nonprofits and charitable organizations get along without you?

4. Get off social media. Close your Facebook account, shutdown LinkedIn, quit Twitter, pull the plug on Google+. They’re such a waste!

5. Stop talking to your friends and neighbors. They’re so bothersome!

6. Snub your family. Who needs tedious holiday get-togethers, birthday parties or anniversary celebrations? Skip ‘em!

7. Ignore your spouse and kids (more than you do now). Quality time? That’s for you, my friend, not them.

8. Hide in your office, and for heaven’s sake don’t talk to your colleagues. Don’t respond to their emails or phone calls, either.

9. Stay in your house, especially on nice days. If you do have to go out, don’t talk to anyone. Not the postman, repairman or grocery clerk. No one!

10. Do not do anything nice for anyone. Don’t pay compliments, send cards, buy gifts or shower kindness. And by all means, do not reciprocate any acts of kindness towards you.

Follow these 10 easy steps, and I guarantee that you will be left alone.

What’s that you say? You’re having second thoughts. You really do want to be engaged? You want to have a more fulfilling life, maybe make a difference in people’s lives and advance your career? Seriously? Then do the opposite of what I just told you; but I’m warning you, you’re not going to be left alone!

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2 Responses to 10 sure-fire ways to disengage and be left alone

  1. Laughing. I didn’t know where you were going with this, Jay…and I actually agreed with some of the top 10. Thanks for the great post.

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